Chinese Torture and the Blue Danube Waltz

I think ZUFE might have a little Las Vegas Bellagio fountain envy because they attempt to imitate Bellagio’s fountains dancing to music. Our fountain dances exclusively to the tune of Strauss’s Blue Danube Waltz. I have to admit the lights, water and music are in sync and pretty impressive for a college campus, but that is because they have had lots of practice. For the entire year I have been here they have never varied the music or added additional songs. I actually enjoyed Stauss’s BD waltz for the first 2 or 3 months and on average they only run the fountains with its accompanying music 3 or 4 times a week for 30-60 minutes. After 4 months it became tedious but still tolerable. Last week the Blue Danube Waltz became torturous. The "Experts" were here last week and ZUFE wished to impress. They pulled out all the stops, which include running the fountains and the oft-repeated *&^% waltz every lunch and every night from 7:30 to about 9 or 10. It is Chinese torture! China is a noisy place and for mental sanity the Chinese must be used to blocking out extraneous noise. I thought with 32 years of teaching middle schoolers I could do the same, but obviously I can’t. Strauss and his Blue Danube Waltz are permanently scarred on my brain. I asked Ricky and Nathan who have been in China for 2 years if it bothered them – they were not even aware that the fountains had been on. Maybe it just takes longer or it is a female/mother thing… If anyone from ZUFE reads this blog, PLEASE ask the powers to be to change the tune every once in a while.

No Red Lights on My Marigold Ct House This Year BUT….

I decided that even though I wouldn’t be home for Christmas I was still going to decorate. So in my traditional fashion I decorated the weekend after Thanksgiving. Martha had mailed me 2 cute door hangings and I bought some cheap Christmas decorations from Metro (China’s version of Sams). I invited one of my classes I had last year to come and help me and then watch a movie afterwards. There were only 2 elfs that showed up (Windy and Charity pictured above) but we got the job done in less than an hour probably because there was no crawling up in the attic to get the 3 big boxes of decorations and arguing with Zac about putting up the outside red lights.

After eeeuing and ahhhing about the small smattering of lights and snowflakes, we watched the movie Grease which is one of my all time favorites and usually really popular with kids. I ended up being glad it was 2 girls cause I never realized how much sexual slang was in the movie Grease. It sort of felt like I was back at Glynn Middle during the Sex Ed month in an 8th grade science class. I was asked to explain “knocked up & hickeys & protection” and I was lucky, cause there were a bunch more they didn’t ask about.

Side note – Hickeys- when we see a hickey on a neck our mind immediately goes in the gutter…. But in China a hickey doesn’t mean what you think it means. During the really hot months the kids will pinch their juggler vein real hard to cool down. This produces a mark that looks a lot like one you would get when you spent too much time in the back seat of a 59’ 3 cylinder Saab. There were lots of ‘heat hickeys’ during the Chinese Sophomore Soldier training. Some Chinese also do this to bring down a fever when you are sick. I think I would rather take aspirin and get hickeys for the other reason.

Thanksgiving in China

I have had a lot of emails asking what I did for Thanksgiving, so here is my answer to everyone interested. Yes, we had a meal that we CALLED Thanksgiving. I joined the 4 foreign teachers from ChuanMei (another college down the road). There were Sharon and David Mills, my age, and two younger teachers in their 20’s Heidi and Ashley.

Since we didn’t have an oven or smoker or deep fryer we substituted the normal Thanksgiving food items for what could locate. Here is our list.
Turkey - We couldn’t find any poultry that day so we substituted fried pork chops.
Stuffing & Gravy – we didn’t even attempt to imitate….
Green Bean casserole – just green beans
Real mashed potatoes – substituted instant mashed potatoes that Martha Allen sent me, which were surprisingly good. I hadn’t used instant potatoes in about 10 years and boy have they improved!
Rolls – substituted chewy not crusty Italian Bread from WuMei (remember no oven to make the bread crusty)
Pumpkin Pie – substituted Sweet potato pie
Extras – Sharon’s fabulous microwave chocolate cake (with no eggs) & frying pan cookies. Also my fantastic, generous and wonderful sister, Barb, sent me some York Peppermint patties which we shared. Don't worry she never reads my blogs so I don't have to worry about her getting a big head.

I have come to the conclusion that people that have ever lived on a farm would thrive here. This is because they are the best at figuring out how to cook fresh food, which is all they have here. Farm people are also the best at improvising how to do something when you don’t have the right equipment or ingredients. To support my hypothesis, Sharon, our farm girl, came up with the way to make the pseudo pumpkin pie and crust in a microwave, but her microwave masterpiece is the deliciously moist chocolate cake.

Yes, I really missed Larry’s fried turkey and smoked ham and Rosie’s oatmeal rolls, but most of all I missed the Zac and Nicole and my friends. Another disappointment was missing the after dinner bonfire in the Wilson’s backyard with Josie and Lee going thru their comedy routine. Now don’t assume I regret coming to China for this year. It has been a great experience and I am definitely thankful for all I have learned and seen. It has changed how I perceive the world and my life. I had stepped out of my comfort zone and learned I can adjust and be happy. So even though I was a little homesick, I really was thankful on Thanksgiving.

Remember Candy Apples

Well I haven’t found Candied Apples but they do “Candy” a lot of other fruit. Those things on the sticks above are all different types of fruit that have been dipped in some hot sugary stuff. I haven’t tried one yet – but I will - the pineapple one looks good. Plus they make a pretty picture.

Update - I did try the pineapple one and it was good along with the kiwi and cantalope piece!

Haircuts in China

Above is a photo of Sharon with our favorite ‘hairstylist’ after her $1.20 wash, cut and dry. Sharon is my friend from ChaunMei a college down the street. She had already gotten one China haircut from a randomly chosen shop, which she did not like. And there are many shops to choose from. Just on this campus we have at least 20 shops. Last term a shop and stylist was recommended to me by one of my students. This summer when I got home to Georgia and my preferred hairstylist Nicole, I was pleasantly surprised when she told me to go back to the same guy that he really gave me a good cut. I told Sharon about him and she was also satisfied with her end product. One reason she got such a good cut was because she showed our stylist close-up photos her husband had taken of all sides of her head after a good US haircut. (Great Idea!) We ended up the visit with lots of phone photos being taken of her and her white hair by all the workers.

Side Note: I actually found an advantage to not being able to have Nicole cover up my gray hair. A couple of days ago somebody gave their seat to me on the crowded B1 bus on the way back from Metro. That saved me 40 minutes of standing (really balancing) with a very heavy bag. So maybe I should keep and enjoy my gray –at least while I am here.

ZUFE Afternoon Activities

Ricky, the Australian teacher, and I have taken up pool (are you now humming “Ya Got Trouble in River City” from the Music Man?). Even though I haven’t played pool in many, many years and I was never very good- it still sounded like fun. For the last month we have been periodically going to the pool hall that is located under one of the dorms. Ricky and I seemed to be pretty well matched. We both bounce the balls over the side, we miss the cue ball every so often, we don’t call any of our shots and if there are a bunch of balls together we aim for the bunch and hope one of ours goes in somewhere. We are even so predictably bad on the break that if one of us wins a game the other has to break.

Pool halls in China are not like pool halls in the US. There are no quarters on the table or playing the winner. If there is an open table you play at that table until you are tired. You pay by the hour not by the number of games. Also they are really not ‘halls’ it is sort of like playing in a garage with the door open. Notice the gloves and scarfs. All the tables we have tried are lopsided and all of the cue sticks are warped, which is actually nice cause you can blame some of your bad shots on the table and the cue stick. So far the score is Katie 6 WINS and Ricky 2 wins. I have to admit to all of you that most of it is dumb luck – but I will never tell Ricky that.

Cynthia & her Sister - WuZhen

WuZhen

Cynthia, her sister Lily, and Lily’s friend Susan from Germany and I went to WuZhen a couple of weekends ago. My day didn’t start out great – I was supposed to meet them at 7am at the WuMei Bus stop but I went into the “Spacey Katie” mode and rode right past the stop. (I know all my friends will easily be able to recall one of my spacey Katie moments). By the time I got off, got back on, and got off again (but THIS time at the RIGHT stop) I was 20 minutes late. We rode to the other bus station and caught another bus for the hour ride to WuZhen. WuZhen is an ancient preserved water town. There are 5 more similar towns in the 2 nearby provinces. (Remember this area is at the end of the Yangtze River). Most of these towns sort of resemble a Chinese version of Venice. There were lots of bridges, canals and cute houses on the edges of the canals. This town is famous for its rice wine (VERY strong), a taffy-like candy (that tastes like bit-o-honey), blue dyed fabric and their woodcarvings. We walked around the town, ate a noodle bowl lunch, took a boat ride and went thru most of their informative displays. Definitely a good day trip!

We walked back to the WuZhen bus station and got our tickets to go back to Hangzhou. Their dilapidated bus station looked like the roof was being supported by bamboo poles tied together. I stayed close to the door so if I saw some of the bamboo poles break I could run outside.

Side Note: One of the most humbling things on the trip was the fact that Cynthia and her sister were constantly switching between speaking in Chinese to German to English, along with a Chinese hometown dialect (sort of like twin speak) thrown in for good measure. Even Native German Susan could speak English, Chinese and French. I was the lone person that could only speak one language. We gotta start teaching our kids to learn an extra language earlier in their life. It is too hard when you are OLD.

I already am aware that I am a visual learner. Are most Chinese audio learners? Is the type of learner you are hereditary? Is that why every morning I hear a guy repeat English sentences over and over while pacing back and forth on the rooftop of the building across the street? And why when I go to class early the kids are reading their English text out loud. No, they are not reading together. They are all repeating different stuff, which makes for a very strange cacophony. I am hopeless – I have to write everything down or read along with any Chinese podcast I attempt. But I do seem to remember the Chinese food names the best. Maybe I have to get my taste sense in there too.